Jan 20th....A sad day....the BFF is heading home :(
But really, I am so thankful for her....for her willingness to come down and visit me, to make me laugh (a LOT!!), to make me feel like things are 'normal', even if just for a weekend.  She is the best!

After all the chaos left (aka, Betsy Ann Conaway...lol), and after the kids and I did some small projects around the house, we went outside in the BEAUTIFUL 60 degree weather....such freaky weather here, but I'll enjoy the "good" between all the "bad" (there's a life lesson in there somewhere :)  ).

 It's interesting as I look at these shadow pictures.....how I can see my kid's personalities, characteristics, etc even in their 'shadows'.  I won't go into detail, if you know my kids, then you can see it too ;)  .I love how different, unique and truly amazing they are.  They are some of the strongest kids I have ever known and I am humbled to be a part of their lives.  God is good....all the time.....

Jan 17th.....BETSY'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

 960 calories.....just FYI!!!!

                                                      One big happy...

Jan 18th.....Abby goes to the Military Ball

Jan 19th.....Eat, Drink (hot cocoa) and Be Merry!!!

Jan 14th.....Met my man crush at the mall today :)

Jan 15th....My new obsession.......

Jan 16th.....Flipping the filing system for the new year.....a week long job! (and a week long mess!)

Jan 9th......Splashing in puddles....love my rain boots!

Jan 10th......Even though they lost their game, Peter and Javid are still smiling (and Hannah is still photo bombing!!)

Although I can't make the time the time to blog daily, I'm impressed that I've made it this far...even if it is a little 'hit and miss' :)

I had a great time this past weekend....which may seem like a regular thing for some of you, but for me it's kind of new.
We have officially started 'joint custody' of the kids, which means every other weekend, from Thursday until Monday night, the kids are with their dad.  They love their time with their dad, but honestly, for me, it was really hard.  I've had them pretty much 24/7 for a year and a half now....outside of my parents helping, it's just been me and them.  But now that their father is 'local', they get to see him....which is, of course, a good thing....except that I miss them terribly when they are gone.
I haven't spoken a word about this to anyone....most would think I'm complaining....that I should RELISH in the thought of getting a little "me" time.....but it wasn't the case.  I've missed them so much...they are literally like a part of me....I feel a little lost without them.  Like I have no purpose.

But this weekend was different.....I missed my kids, like I have every time....but this time I found myself laughing a little more, relaxing longer, and allowing myself to enjoy the "me" time.  I spent time with a friend....playing racquetball, eating greasy hamburgers :), driving to another state to watch a beautiful sunset and seeing wide open space (it's been a while....I'm not digging this city life)....we watched movies and bigfoot reality tv....and finished it all off with an awesome 11 mile bike ride through the mountains.  I didn't want it to end......

 Jan 11th..........Cheaha State Park, Alabama

Jan 12th...........Biking Arabian Mountain :)

Two steps forward, one step back....

well, I just said in my last post that things were going well....and they are, for the most part.  But every now and then, a wave of "uncertainty" crashes over me and I start doubting....everything.  Oh how powerfully crushing doubt can be sometimes....

I doubt my ability to be an amazing mom to my kids...
I doubt that I will do well in my new job....
I doubt I will be able to financially support us by myself....
I doubt I will ever be able to trust someone again....

Once one creeps in, the rest follow, eager to take up residence in my mind and heart...

But then....
My children leave me a note or send a snap chat telling me how much they love me....
I get a raise....
I start to see the light at the end of the financial tunnel....
I let someone in, just a little.....

Deep breath....exhale.....the moment has passed.....my head isn't swimming, I"m not on the verge of tears, I dont' want to eat a whole box of nutter butters by myself, and I'm actually excited (kind of) about things to come.....

I'll keep you posted....kind of :)

Jan 8th.....My mid morning snack....YUM!!!!!!!!

J

It's a slow start, yes.....

Ok...never promised to blog every day, but I thought I would do better than 1 blog a week!  But like I said, it's a slow start....but a start nonetheless :)

The past few days have been a little on the rough side (details excluded) and I have found myself questioning a few things that I used to be very solid about.  Needless to say, my brain is tired and to be honest, I'm tired of thinking. 

BUT....I'm still on my quest to post a pic from each day
THAT much I'm willing to do :)

JAN 5th....my super yummy new favorite meal!  Bacon wrapped sriracha chicken with broccoli and white cheese....I ate the leftover broccoli for breakfast the next day.....YUM!!

Jan 6th.....
It was SERIOUSLY cold on this day.....and for the next 2 days!  Reminded me of the windy, single digit cold days of New Mexico

Jan 7th.....
A rare moment of sibling peace :) Peter is skeptical about doing 'crafts', but Abby was so excited to teach him....he's a good brother :)

So far I can't complain about 2014....we have our health, a home (sort of), and each other....and most of the time, we are laughing :) 

And the New Year's resolutions are standing strong.....I'm slowly chipping away at my 1000 mile goal, and the pounds are dropping (3 1/2 so far in this new year)....there are more and I'll share them soon :)

Starting....

Well, I wanted to start this blogging thing on the first day of the year, but my lack of "technical knowledge" slowed me down on setting up a blog....blah!

Oh well, I used my insomnia to my advantage and finally figured it out :)

I haven't really decided what I want to accomplish here....if you know me at all you know that being "open" or "transparent" isn't my gift, so I doubt I will reveal anything mysterious or deep here....but it is a step in the right direction of climbing out of the hermit hole I dug for myself this past year.....just trying to join the "living" again :)

One thing I do want to do is post a pic a day

Jan 1, 2014.....The first pic of the year....taken after midnight, standing outside, watching fireworks, FREEZING!!! :)

It's been a rough year for all of us, but hopefully these smiles have some sincerity in them and my constant prayer is for my children to always feel loved, safe, and secure.

Jan 2, 2014....We spent some of the day yesterday outside....despite the cold, we improved our  record from 3 consecutive hits to 6....yay us!

Jan 3, 2014.....My eldest and beautiful daughter, Abigail Marie Mlekodaj :)

Jan 4, 2014.....I had to post 2 pics today...too much going on :)
We had one of our classic "Family Game Days"....lots of food, fun and laughs.  Pearl did great and as usual, was the life of the party.  These parties arent' usually open to outsiders, sorry!

And of course couldn't leave out Peter's first basketball game of the season....they won, 23-16 and Peter was an offensive machine!  Go TarHeels!!

Ok, at least I got this blog started....we'll see what happens from here :)