well, I just said in my last post that things were going well....and they are, for the most part. But every now and then, a wave of "uncertainty" crashes over me and I start doubting....everything. Oh how powerfully crushing doubt can be sometimes....
I doubt my ability to be an amazing mom to my kids...
I doubt that I will do well in my new job....
I doubt I will be able to financially support us by myself....
I doubt I will ever be able to trust someone again....
Once one creeps in, the rest follow, eager to take up residence in my mind and heart...
But then....
My children leave me a note or send a snap chat telling me how much they love me....
I get a raise....
I start to see the light at the end of the financial tunnel....
I let someone in, just a little.....
Deep breath....exhale.....the moment has passed.....my head isn't swimming, I"m not on the verge of tears, I dont' want to eat a whole box of nutter butters by myself, and I'm actually excited (kind of) about things to come.....
I'll keep you posted....kind of :)
Jan 8th.....My mid morning snack....YUM!!!!!!!!
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J
So great to see you blogging! <3 You've been in my thoughts and prayers often in the past year and longer really. I will be reading your blog faithfully (even if I don't always comment) and will continue upholding you and your family before the Lord.
ReplyDeleteMuch Love,
Emily